Every month, the girls in the high school ministry get together for a girls night of fellowship. The night includes a Bible study, eating (lots of it), and playing games (where we see the leaders come out in full craziness). It’s a load of fun. I was blessed to share at this past girls night and the Lord had really put it in my heart to share about dating and singleness. In a world where the standards are low and compromises are made, i believe it’s so important to encourage each other and seek what The Lord has for you in regards to dating from a Christian perspective. I really felt like The Lord put it on my heart to write out some of the things i shared from that night. So here are a few brief points from my notes..
Theme of study: Song of Solomon 8:4: “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Basically, what I receive from this verse is to not jump ahead of the Lord’s will. Don’t jump into “loving” someone if you’re not ready for it… And how do you know if you’re ready for it? We’ll if you’re seeking after Jesus, then He will show you the way to go.
I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home where my parents raised my siblings and I to not date in high school (which I didn’t realize was a rule until after I had graduated high school). Looking back at those years, I’m so thankful to have been brought up that way. I see that my heart was protected from pointless hurt and pain from others. I was able to enjoy dances and hangouts without all the boy drama and awkwardness. I do remember moments of wanting a boyfriend, but looking back, I see that it was better I didn’t have one. There was no point and I wasn’t ready for it.
I am blessed and thankful to have grown up like that, so I want to share what I have learned.
We all have desires in our hearts…whether it’s to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or get married, or to be single.
The Lord honors your desires as long as they are part of His will.
Psalm 37:4 – “delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
At a youth leaders conference I went to last month, one of the pastor’s shared this thought and it really stuck with me: if you desire to be married one day, most likely you will be, so don’t worry!
It will happen in God’s timing. He takes care of all. His plan is always better.
If you are single, then it’s either because you aren’t ready or the person God has for you isn’t ready yet.
There is so much growth and development that happens in the waiting.
How much better is it to be in His will than our own.
Isaiah 55:8-9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
In the circumstance you are in, whether it be single or in a relationship, I believe these are important questions to ask yourself: Where is my identity? How strong are your friendships with others around you? Are you involved in Church ministry in some way? Are your prayers selfless or do you find yourself praying for your will instead of God’s?
Those were some questions God had out on my heart last year and it caused me to make some changes in my life.
Sometimes we are faced with difficult decisions and it may cause us to make some tough decisions, but trust in Lord. Pain brings growth and experience.
God is gracious and there are new beginnings.
Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Waiting in The Lord is a blessing. You are able to learn about patience, grow in your character, focus on others, learn about your spiritual gifts, build your identity in Christ and not others, and build your community (friendships).
But when you wait, don’t just sit and do nothing…Actively wait on the Lord.
Ruth is a great example to follow when it comes to actively waiting on God. Here’s a brief run-thru of the story (I recommend reading the whole book..it’s a short one, but so great!!). After Ruth’s husband died, she chose to follow Naomi instead of seeking a new husband right away.
What are you seeking? Man or The Lord?
Boaz notices Ruth working in the field. Ruth is there working for Naomi, and not to seek attention from men.
Boaz noticed her heart.
How you attract guys will impact the type of guys who want your attention.
Ruth is active on making herself known to Boaz in a modest way.
We are so young….there is time to be active in ministry, especially if you don’t have a family. Focus on the task at hand and trust that the Lord will provide.
Do things not for man, but for The Lord.
Colossians 3:17 – “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
You will never have a season like this again. Treasure it. Enjoy it.
What do you want to see when you look back at this time 10 years from now?
When I look back,I see if things had gone my own way, I wouldn’t be here with you all sharing what The Lord has put on my heart.
I found these next 9 questions in an article from Relevent Magazine and they are great to ask yourself if you are in a relationship or thinking of getting in one…
9 Questions to Ask Before Getting Serious
1. Do I want to be like this person?
2. Am I attracted to this person? (more than just how they look)
3. Do our core values and beliefs repel or compel each other?
4. Does this person challenge me?
5. How does their family communicate?
6. Do they love from their insecurities or do they love from their strengths?
7. Have you both tackled your monsters?
8. Do you enjoy the mundane together?
9. What’s their vision for the future?
Continue to seek The Lord in all these things.. He will provide and show the way if you are open to receiving from Him.
We will be faced with some difficult days of loneliness, but don’t let that discourage you.
Seek hope in the Lord thru friendships He has given you. Enjoy the small moments. Go on adventures. Serve others. Join a ministry. Explore life. And rest in the Lord’s will. He will take care of you.
Song of Solomon 8:4: “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”