And i write.

i miss writing for fun about adventures in Spain and traveling and feeling like i was accomplishing so much and other random concepts learned. due to the high level of business with life, school, friends, and other aspects of the life i live, i haven’t found the time to write or share. or maybe a more true statement is that i haven’t made the time to do those things. so i’m going to attempt to share again every once in a while when i can, even though it might not be as exciting as being in spain (ok i’m done comparing).

i start fresh again by sharing this quote:

Sweet Lord, be thou for ever eye, and soul, and head for us, and let us be content to know only what Thou choosest to reveal. -Charles Spurgeon

i’m learning to trust in Jesus with wherever He leads me and not to plan so far ahead that i become overwhelmed in a stressful way. the 1st semester of my senior year of college is about 1 and 1/2 weeks left of being done (which will be filled with much essay writing) and then i have a longg winter break at home; it’ll be the longest time ill be living at home since this time last year. what i will be doing during that time is a good question, but all i know is that i have to trust that the Lord will lead and reveal Himself and what He wants in His timing, not mine.

This semester back at Monterey was a difficult transition, but awesome one, to say in general terms. Sometimes i wonder at the reason for living in Spain and how i can use what i learned there in where i am now. i didn’t have reverse culture shock when i first came home from there (the short 5 days before i went up to summer camp didn’t allow that to happen to me); although this semester there were a few days i felt the term take place. All the stories i couldn’t remember to share when i first came home now come to mind at the most inconvenient times. lately i’ve been finding myself to deeply miss the experiences in Spain and sometimes i find my mind to get caught up in my own hunger for the next really big adventure because i felt that i had something to do and accomplish with those big tasks.To be content presently in where God has placed me is something difficult for me to accept than it has been before. My mindset has been thinking in the wrong way; it’s a hard thing to learn when you think you’ve been right all this time, but something worth changing if it brings glory to God. It’s not about where people have been, what we’ve done, where we’re going, nor how to better our life for our own desires. It’s about loving Him with everything, working out salvation, being a light to others. It’s all about the little things He’s gracefully given and daily opportunities (that i take for granted) to fully live out for Him; i need to keep reminding myself that rather than quench the Spirit out of fear. I can’t say enough how thankful I am that Jesus always reaches out when I am in doubt (Matt. 14:30-31). And grateful that I’m surrounded by lovely people near and far who remind me of such things.

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